Incessant fear eats away at my innards like a parasite leeching nutrients. I am controlled by an entity. This fear is not an emotion. This fear is alive. It is a narcissistic fear. This fear feeds off of my heart and my muscle debilitating my mind & limbs to create "me". A poorly sewn together sack of flesh, hair, muscle, blood, and urine. Most seek to conquer the world and walk on-high to soak in their success. I, inversely, long for the opportunity to cleanse my skin of the dirt I have been laying in all of my life.

Desire. Lust. Passion. Crime. Fear. Love. Bullshit.

As long as I don't make it,
A promise to perish,
Bears the heroism of sacrifice.

Arguing With Shame

And like water against stone
It is your emotion that I am after
The depravity of bravery is where I find cowardice

It was fear that dragged the knife,
Between my ears. Not your hand.
"But you are brave!", I would whisper,
Into the same ears.

Naked and covered in blood
Like the truth should always be,
Nothing can hide behind
The filth.

As you are swallowed by the autumn leaves,
Self-hatred as your shield,
You will lose
Everything you will never have.